Although Grace Before Meals was officially launched just a few years ago, Fr. Leo has been developing the idea since childhood. Here, he recalls some of the personal events that inspired him to start the movement.
In my experience, nothing creates a better environment for a great conversation than time shared in the kitchen. Without realizing it, I first learned about the power of the kitchen as a boy. That was our gathering place, where we watched the simple ingredients of our native Pilipino dishes transformed into inviting meals. I love to try those familiar dishes on my own today, even though I never quite duplicate the masterpieces cooked up by my mother and grandmother.
As a student in Rome, I discovered that the kitchen was the ideal place to break down language barriers. The cooks at the Italian restaurants in the neighborhood where we seminarians lived always enjoyed an invitation to come to our kitchen. There, they’d trade tips on preparing their favorite dishes for the secrets of our American cuisine. I returned home with a new respect for the kitchen as a place where you can have a great conversation without using a lot of needless words in the process.
Those lessons about the kitchen came back to me as I took up my work as a priest. I wanted nothing more than to get past the mannerly surface chat that too often masked the real needs of the people I was there to serve. So one day, without advanced warning, I surprised a family who had invited me to dinner by announcing that I was going to take over their kitchen and, with their help, make dinner for them. My plan worked, and an evening that would have been polite and distant turned into a time for honest conversation and lowered barriers.
Since that first test meal, I’ve seen the benefit of sharing a project in the kitchen over and over. If I had to analyze the elements of this success, I would observe the freedom people in the kitchen have to talk without watching each other. I would weigh the value of working together on a mutual goal, particularly if it involves doing something good for someone else. I would point out the natural informality and familiarity of the kitchen, a place where you expect to be comfortable.
Sometimes, it’s enough to know that there can be the one place in the home where parents and teens can learn about each other and share confidences. This may seem too simple an idea to work, but I believe that’s exactly why it’s so effective.
