In order to review restaurants, I wanted to turn the tables and not talk about what they deserve in terms of “stars,” 5 out of 5 being the best. Instead, I wanted to make this restaurant review a bit more pedagogical and informative, almost telling the restaurant what areas need improvement. Instead of giving stars, I will employ my priestly confessional role and assign a penance to the restaurant instead. One out of ten Hail Mary’s! Because some people presume that less Hail Mary’s or a minimal penance means the person wasn’t that bad. If someone gets a lot of prayers to say, they assume they were really bad.

While in fact there is not necessarily any correlation of the “number of prayers” to the “amount of sins,” I thought I’d have a little fun and simply say that if a restaurant was really good – almost divinely inspired – they would receive only 1 Hail Mary. If it was really bad (I’m talking in need of serious purgation), they would receive 10 Hail Mary’s as “penance,” with the hopes to improve. Here are my 10 reasons to assign a Hail Mary for a restaurant review.

1. Food: Did it taste good, authentic, and accurate compared to the description on the menu?

2. Menu Satisfaction: Was it appropriate for the restaurant genre, descriptive enough, satisfying for diverse palates, true to its “mission”?

3. Food Presentation: Did I want to eat what was set before me? Did the plating and the presentation of the plate make me want to celebrate or walk away discouraged like a kid being served a grayish piece of overcooked liver with a side of gray-green mushy broccoli?

4. Food Pricing: Was the cost of the overall meal what you expect, or was it overpriced?

5. The Beverage Selection: Were there enough varieties of wines, different countries represented (French places can get kinda’ particular about wines from other countries), and appropriate pricing to raise our spirits without angering our spirit over the cost of the spirits?

6. Ambiance: Does it match the genre of the restaurant, is it quiet enough, lively enough, clean and inviting?

7. Décor: Similar to Ambience, décor will also include a critique of the silverware, table, rug, decorations, and even the wait staff dress? Does it provide an overall pleasant experience?

8. Service: Were servers and floor management personnel professional, friendly, overly helpful to the point of annoying, or rarely seen and unhelpful?

9. Accessibility: As a priest, I always have to consider if my church parking lot, the church signage, and the entrance areas are accessible to people with special needs. There are some restaurants that require divinely infused knowledge to locate an alternate entrance, and parking can become such a chore that you may spend more money on parking than you do for an entrée. So accessibility matters, especially since Christ is inviting people from all walks of life to come to the kingdom.

10. Family Friendliness: With a Grace Before Meal’s approach, I want to know if this place makes a person feel at home; would I be happy taking my family there? Even if it’s an expensive restaurant, IF I had money to take my family there, would I? Or would it be a place that would be hostile to a family celebration, even with kids. For example, some churches are more open to families: would this restaurant be a place that welcomes families or makes them feel unwelcome?

Based on this criteria, I give La Tavola of Baltimore’s Little Italy an impressive 2 Hail Mary’s out of 10. The food is delicious, appropriately priced, and it’s true to form, authentic in flavor, but not afraid to dazzle your tastebuds with unique approaches to traditional Italian Cuisine. Specials are changed regularly, and the place really made my family feel at home. The owner and Executive Chef, Carlo Cignotto, and his trusted Host and Manager, Mike Goldsmith, do an excellent job pleasing the customer with both food and atmosphere.

The only “penance” I would ascribe to them isn’t even really their fault. Their one main dining room could use some sprucing up. The ceiling is a bit discolored, which is probably why they dim the lights in the main dining room. Perhaps the main section can also use some planter boxes to help create more of a private dining area. However, the ambience is true to form, being described as “casual elegance.” The other penance would be ascribed for the few occasions when Mike is not there. The wait staff, while professional and friendly, are never “as friendly” as we come to expect from Michael. While he is Zacchaeus in stature, he has a huge heart and an even bigger, welcoming personality. Not that everyone can be Mike. but when he’s not there you feel like a seriously important part of this restaurant is not there.

Everything else in this restaurant is so top-notch: completely family friendly, an extremely well-priced menu, and consistently delicious delicacies. So I proudly give them only 2 Hail Mary’s out 10. That’ will translate to 4.5 out of 5 Halos. Going to La Tavola in Baltimore’s Little Italy is truly like going home to a wonderful family meal – as long as your family understands casual elegance and delicious food – authentic, rustic, and rich in flavor, while still artistic in presentation. In short, with everything this restaurant brings to “The Table,” Carlo and Mike simply wow you into coming back!

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